I finished my exams yesterday! never felt more relieved!!! Not that writing exams is something new or something that is 'not for the faint at heart'! but it just takes over our lives for a week or two! The biological cycle of day and night goes haywire and no longer are you in the mood to think of all the happy and nice things in life, say, for example, hot coffee enjoyed by the window when its raining...taking your own sweet time to finish it!... also, we have food cravings, I always want to keep munching on something or the other while i figure out how the time domain affects frequency domain or how the hell does this complex circuit work! or its sometimes just,"what do i study? i cant decide!"
anyway, i end up wasting precious hours watching stupid soaps on tv, which by the way, seem more interesting than a simon haykin or a barry brey( those are the authors of our text books!) and then when i realise that there is hardly any time i finally decide to study the minimum amount possible. call me lazy, call me normal or whatever fancies you, but i really cant manage time! so now its the previous day of the start of exams. And i still am not that worried. I am in my own dreamland. mind in a wandering spree and body in front of a table full of books! Nothing seems to get me to start studying. So i call a few friends. Just so that i might find it a little scary or inspiring when i hear about their progress. But the friends that i make!! they are equally bad! then we have i long chat about what to do and what not to do! all talk and no work yet. the clock is ticking!!! A sudden pang of anxiety! Usually courtesy Megha, my friend!, whose favourite line during the exam season is " Maddy! what have you been doing all day?? still yet to start? i have already finished half! get studying i say!" then it occurs to me that there is going to be no sleep for me that night! I start! I move on like an old ambassador car. going going going... still just the first unit done...the sky is already dark! its time for status check with prajju and kg! prajju says " guess what! i slept all this while, i am yet to start! i am all tense maddy!" that is typical of him! he is like the night watchman! sleeps through the day and works his ass of at night. doesnt need a 'good night sleep'. But will eventually finish everything before time and does his exam well and comes out beaming or frowning for the loss of a mark or two! But if its kg!, he ll say" i was watching a movie! giving myself a break! after having made a lot of 'notes'!" after the exam he is very solemn usually! So i now get back to my books! " BORING!!" declares my brain! "Oh what the heck! just finish it" i say and i clobber along..night fall...lot more to go. Suddenly i have a feeling that i dont remember what all i studied all day! so i turn back a few pages and see... Brain says " wait a minute! did i really read all this just today?? where the hell did it all go??" then the frenzy kicks in...."study study maddy study!! You have to revise before you go and sit in that dreadful place for 3 whole hours!" i get an sms or two wishing me 'all the best' and 'good luck'...uhhh! its so not looking like thats ever going to happen! i finish 3/4th of the stuff at around three in the night before i declare " enough! now its time to sleep! god save me with the rest of it in the morning!" wake up at 7 a.m to the constant 'bell ringing' by mom and dad trying to wake me up. start studying by 8! I dont know why but on the day of an exam i have a strange liking towards reading the newspaper leisurely with bournvita in my hand. Like there in nothing i have to do 4 hrs ahead. Eyes sore, head drowsy, i get myself to sit in front of those books! yet again!! How i pray it will all get over soon! Then i start studying again! finishing by around half an hour before exam bell rings! then its revision time! "WOW" I dont remember a single equation! What seemed so logical and easy on the previous night is again all scrambled! its like a computer's hard drive just crashed! So i just leave it fate or god or who ever to help me with the restoration of my memory and off i zip to college!!!! Tra la laa la laaa! The question paper is worse than scrambled egg!!!! But i like scrambled eggs! Not scrambled questions though! so i spend 10 mins trying to figure out what i know and what i think i know ( which i am sure i ll have trouble remembering once i start) and what i absolutely have no idea about! So i write some crap about this and that...make a not so neat jigsaw about what i intend to say and leave after 3 hours in a state of confusion as to what had just happened! I look at Latha! " how did you do? " is her usual question! To which i reply " God save me!!!" Why cant i just remember what i have learnt! are my brain cells dead? She has a sorry look on her face cuz she has usually done well! Then i realise, Around 25 marks gone!!!! had i been in 5th standard, i would have cried all day! Not Now! now i plain dont feel bad anymore..what can do about it anyway! Mom says " you have changed a lot! You take things lightly! Do you remember how you would cry even for the loss of a mark or two?" Duh! that way i ll have to cry and cry till my eyes go dry!! pathetic!
And one after the other it all goes from bad to worse and finally! Its over...
Its a bitter sweet thing. I pretend i dont care how its gone and that i am happy that it s all over but that thing inside is poking me and sayin " You have gone another step lower you know! , you no longer are as good as you used to be!" Sad story right!
I am lately worried about what s wrong with my brain! How can i forget so much! PP doesnt understand when i say i forgot though i had studied! " How can you forget what you know and have understood? " he says! " how am i supposed to know!??"
Anyway, now i am all sad that i have 'royally screwed it up' this time... will be somewhere at the bottom...my aggre goes down, the graph ( which is already having a negative gradient) is still going to fall... and slowly my hopes ll all die... sad story ...i know..what do i do!!! Mom says " if only you prepared well in advance!" i dont see the point! I forget everything... Whats the use!
Well i need to just try harder maybe... I just wonder how i used to ace exams before...in school. I hardly put in any effort. Now nothing seems to work! What the hell! i give up! i am no good at this anymore! :(
anyway, i end up wasting precious hours watching stupid soaps on tv, which by the way, seem more interesting than a simon haykin or a barry brey( those are the authors of our text books!) and then when i realise that there is hardly any time i finally decide to study the minimum amount possible. call me lazy, call me normal or whatever fancies you, but i really cant manage time! so now its the previous day of the start of exams. And i still am not that worried. I am in my own dreamland. mind in a wandering spree and body in front of a table full of books! Nothing seems to get me to start studying. So i call a few friends. Just so that i might find it a little scary or inspiring when i hear about their progress. But the friends that i make!! they are equally bad! then we have i long chat about what to do and what not to do! all talk and no work yet. the clock is ticking!!! A sudden pang of anxiety! Usually courtesy Megha, my friend!, whose favourite line during the exam season is " Maddy! what have you been doing all day?? still yet to start? i have already finished half! get studying i say!" then it occurs to me that there is going to be no sleep for me that night! I start! I move on like an old ambassador car. going going going... still just the first unit done...the sky is already dark! its time for status check with prajju and kg! prajju says " guess what! i slept all this while, i am yet to start! i am all tense maddy!" that is typical of him! he is like the night watchman! sleeps through the day and works his ass of at night. doesnt need a 'good night sleep'. But will eventually finish everything before time and does his exam well and comes out beaming or frowning for the loss of a mark or two! But if its kg!, he ll say" i was watching a movie! giving myself a break! after having made a lot of 'notes'!" after the exam he is very solemn usually! So i now get back to my books! " BORING!!" declares my brain! "Oh what the heck! just finish it" i say and i clobber along..night fall...lot more to go. Suddenly i have a feeling that i dont remember what all i studied all day! so i turn back a few pages and see... Brain says " wait a minute! did i really read all this just today?? where the hell did it all go??" then the frenzy kicks in...."study study maddy study!! You have to revise before you go and sit in that dreadful place for 3 whole hours!" i get an sms or two wishing me 'all the best' and 'good luck'...uhhh! its so not looking like thats ever going to happen! i finish 3/4th of the stuff at around three in the night before i declare " enough! now its time to sleep! god save me with the rest of it in the morning!" wake up at 7 a.m to the constant 'bell ringing' by mom and dad trying to wake me up. start studying by 8! I dont know why but on the day of an exam i have a strange liking towards reading the newspaper leisurely with bournvita in my hand. Like there in nothing i have to do 4 hrs ahead. Eyes sore, head drowsy, i get myself to sit in front of those books! yet again!! How i pray it will all get over soon! Then i start studying again! finishing by around half an hour before exam bell rings! then its revision time! "WOW" I dont remember a single equation! What seemed so logical and easy on the previous night is again all scrambled! its like a computer's hard drive just crashed! So i just leave it fate or god or who ever to help me with the restoration of my memory and off i zip to college!!!! Tra la laa la laaa! The question paper is worse than scrambled egg!!!! But i like scrambled eggs! Not scrambled questions though! so i spend 10 mins trying to figure out what i know and what i think i know ( which i am sure i ll have trouble remembering once i start) and what i absolutely have no idea about! So i write some crap about this and that...make a not so neat jigsaw about what i intend to say and leave after 3 hours in a state of confusion as to what had just happened! I look at Latha! " how did you do? " is her usual question! To which i reply " God save me!!!" Why cant i just remember what i have learnt! are my brain cells dead? She has a sorry look on her face cuz she has usually done well! Then i realise, Around 25 marks gone!!!! had i been in 5th standard, i would have cried all day! Not Now! now i plain dont feel bad anymore..what can do about it anyway! Mom says " you have changed a lot! You take things lightly! Do you remember how you would cry even for the loss of a mark or two?" Duh! that way i ll have to cry and cry till my eyes go dry!! pathetic!
And one after the other it all goes from bad to worse and finally! Its over...
Its a bitter sweet thing. I pretend i dont care how its gone and that i am happy that it s all over but that thing inside is poking me and sayin " You have gone another step lower you know! , you no longer are as good as you used to be!" Sad story right!
I am lately worried about what s wrong with my brain! How can i forget so much! PP doesnt understand when i say i forgot though i had studied! " How can you forget what you know and have understood? " he says! " how am i supposed to know!??"
Anyway, now i am all sad that i have 'royally screwed it up' this time... will be somewhere at the bottom...my aggre goes down, the graph ( which is already having a negative gradient) is still going to fall... and slowly my hopes ll all die... sad story ...i know..what do i do!!! Mom says " if only you prepared well in advance!" i dont see the point! I forget everything... Whats the use!
Well i need to just try harder maybe... I just wonder how i used to ace exams before...in school. I hardly put in any effort. Now nothing seems to work! What the hell! i give up! i am no good at this anymore! :(
